Advice

by Hal O'Leary

Should you be on a sexual quest,
Take this advice at my behest.
The starting point I find the best
Is always with a woman's breast,
For here we find she will invest
Her utmost effort to arrest
Your glancing eye. It's just a test
To see if you have interest
In getting something off your chest.
In hopes perhaps you might divest
Yourself of all undue unrest
In thinking you might be a pest
And thus refuse to be her guest,
And hie yourself unto her nest.
It could amount to a request.

So look for cleavage, that's a sign
That could mean heaven down the line.
And ogle all you want, that's fine,
With shivers up and down your spine.
It's what she wants. It's by design.
A welcome to her holy shrine.

But know that you cannot foretell
If her response will ring the bell.
And should your efforts not go well
Your heaven could become a hell.

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Hal O'Leary is an eighty-five year old veteran of WWII. He is the retired founder and artistic director of Oglebay Instituite's Towngate Theatre in Wheeling, WV. He was most recently inducted into the Wheeling Hall of Fame and is the recipient of an Honorary of Doctor of Humane Letters degree from West Liberty University.